All Posts by Dotty

Show us your plants boho artist decor

I’m a plant lover, I adore them inside and out and I love the #showusyourplants challenge, now I’ve moved them from all around the house I want the living room to be like this all the time, a jungle oasis of plant energy ๐ŸŒฟ


Fitting everything in this past month has been tiring, I am at uni full time and still running my art biz, having lovely days out and finally going on holiday to Norway, first time I have ever been on a plane and been abroad, it was so exciting and what a magical and very clean place Norway is. I have been exploring different techniques at uni and not had very much chance to create my own pieces, I am super aware that Christmas is looming soon and I have a couple of events I am having a stall at, so I need to get making quickly!

Most of the work I have already is now on display for sale in a lovely centre of serenity, a studio which has crystal healing, yoga, meditation etc not too far from where I live.


I can’t believe it’s November already! seriously this year has gone super fast, some great things from October are:

When the Asda delivery arrivedย  he said to me “ohh are the flowers for someone special?” I said “yes,me I’m treating myself”, he looked confused and said “isn’t that someone else’s job?” So I smiled and said “if I don’t treat myself, how will I know how to treat others?”
That’s not the response he was expecting!! ๐Ÿ˜‚ my beautiful flowers, ยฃ2 to give me joy for the next week or so ๐Ÿ’—because I’m worth it and so are you!



My lamp came home, I loaned it to a charity who had a cafe in the local library along with some paintings and now it’s closed I got to bring them home again. I forgot how I love it when it’s lit up, it took me hours to make and I remember my arms aching with holding them up to tie the fabric. I’m not quite sure where to put it, but for now it can stay in the dining room.
We had lots of days where my beautiful studio was sunny and warm, I spent a lot of days packaging parcels, painting backgrounds andย  enjoying this beautiful room ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป
I am so grateful for this space.
I did a quick watercolour illustration
I love this quote,
the word impossible actually means I’m possible, and everything you can see around you that is man made started with imagination, everything began with a dream
This day was a red tights and yellow shoes kind of day. These summery autumn days are just warm enough to wear no coat and to get the tights back out, I love the weather, such a blessing to have an Indian summer in October.
Let’s hope November is just as lovely x

I’m a mature student! BA (hons) fine art degree

Guess what has happened?

Well if you read the title you already know ๐Ÿ˜‰ but seriously this wasn’t on my life dream list, I had no intention at all of ever doing a degree, what little old me doing something so grown up and proper hahahaha I make myself smile.

Actually it went down like this:

I went to college to enroll on a 9 hour art colour course and the tutor said have you thought about doing a fine art degree, I said “No, I have read the blurb and it sounds to poncy to me”.

I don’t mince my words, I use the excuse I am 41 but I don’t think in the past 20 years or so, I have held back on my thoughts or feelings, well, as you can imagine his face went all squiffy and he just said

“oh right”. hahaha I had pissed on his bonfire hadn’t I?!.drawing-sept-2017

Fast forward 3 days and I had to pop back in to get the price of the course and pay for it as there had been a discrepancy when I originally went, with how much they wanted to charge. I had to ask for a bloke called Nick who ran the art dept, I was in reception, which is in the cafe bit and the receptionist pointed out a grey haired gentleman queueing up for coffee, so I went over and then stood there awkwardly while he chatted to the cafe server about her cakes, anyway I eventually introduced myself and explained what I wanted and he hadn’t even heard of the course, then went on to say, “have you thought about doing a degree”, here we drawing-fine-art-sept2017go again I thought, maybe the staff are on commission to recruit people onto courses.

This time though, I didn’t say it was poncy or pretentious, I asked what was involved, because maybe this was a sign from the universe. Nick explained the whole thing and I fell for it, I fell in love with the romantic notion of being a student at art college like when I was 16, before kids, before stretch marks and when I thought my main ambition in life was to be a fashion designer in London.


And that, friends is how you end up signing up to a 3 year art degree, I have had questions about the money, of course it costs billions to do a degree but its only bits of paper, when I am rich I will pay it back, because then I will be qualified and talking pretentious bollocks and selling my art for millions ๐Ÿ˜‰

I am not one for worrying about what if, I take it day by day and see what happens. I have also been asked why am I going back when I am already an artist?, good question and one I asked myself, the thing is I love to learn, just because I am good at certain art I am not good at everything, I also love researching and finding info and discovering new things, people and designs, this gives me an excuse to do that, I can justify the hours spent on the internet or reading books, I can also try new mediums and see and develop styles that I may not of touched before.


I also want that bit of paper with degree written on it. This may sound weird as I am pretty much against the man and the establishment, but I do have reasoning behind it. Firstly we want to move to somewhere amazing, over a wetherspoons breakfast, one rainy morning we narrowed the list down to Canada, Germany and France, then after more discussion and dreaming we have settled on Canada, if you know us already, you will wonder what happened to the Portugal dream, well bush fires, hairy caterpillars and uranium mines put pay to that, plus I am really shit in hot weather, I actually moan and itch a lot and Tom (Mr Delightful) would have a breakdown if we lived there because I would be a million times worse. Anyway back to the degree, to move to Canada, it is pretty helpful if you have a degree.

sept-2017Also, get this!, my mouth started talking the other day to a tutor and what was coming out was making my mind go crackers, a voice in my head was saying “shut up you nutter” but my mouth wouldn’t stop. So this is what I was saying, basically I feel like a fraud sat in my lovely home, making art, having a jolly time, being super happy and doing stuff I choose to do everyday. I feel like someone in a suit (because suits mean bossy authority in my mind) is going to come and knock on the door and say “oi, what do you think you are doing, being so happy in your pinafore/dungarees/petticoat and playing with paint, it’s against the law, now do something proper and grown up”

Crazy eh! but that’s the kinda stuff that happens in my brain, so I feel that with a bit of degree paper that has my name on it will make me proper and grown up. Like I can actually prove to the person in the suit that I am allowed to play and be happy.

So there you go. What is that all about? God knows, but I do know that I am enjoying myself, its tricky balancing everything because I am still a mum to the nutters and still have to run my biz and sort the house, dogs, food etc but I kinda like it. Plus I get to buy supplies, like fancy pencils and new paintbrushes (like I don’t have enough already) I also get to have 2 studios, does that make me greedy? one at home that is amazingly pink and full ofย  junk I mean collectables, and one at college that is white and minimal, phew what a learning curve that is for me, but again I like it because its challenging me.

I also get to use amazing equipment like big old print machines and be around other creatives. Nick is fabulous and our main tutor for drawing and painting and his passion is infectious, especially for condensed charcoal!trees-sept-2017

The art I have been making is very different but it is god to have a challenge and a change. I am starting very slowly to learn about arty bollocks talk and have discovered some new words (it’s like another language), they have some cool books in the library too. So being a student def has its perks.

I am going to take each challenge as it comes up and not get too caught up in the deadlines and that side of it, I am just going to give it my best shot and enjoy each day. I am finding it very mindful too, because the art I am creating isn’t for money or I don’t have to break off to cook dinner and deal with a meltdown. I can put my headphones in and listen to beautiful music and create.

  • Dotty
  • September 30, 2017
  • Uni

Woo hoo 150 Etsy sales

I am over the moon, thank you all so much for your support, when I started on Etsy I was imagining what it would feel like making 10 sales and wondering how on earth would I do it, after many hours reading, researching, posting and sharing I am super happy that today marks my 150th sale on Etsy. Thank you Sue for being my 150th Etsy customer <3


If you are just starting out, believe in yourself, don’t be discouraged by other peoples wins or successes, use this to inspire you to greatness. I really recommend you check out some of the threads on Etsy in the community section, network on social media, have a look at Mallory Whitfield,ย  who is awesome at digital marketing, has youtube videos and podcasts, also if you sign up to her newsletter she sends out really great content.

150 sales might be a tiny drop in the ocean to some bigger handmade businesses, but I have learned to celebrate and be proud of each win, no matter how small or big, this is about your achievements, not anyone elses. Don’t compare yourself to someone elses journey either, because we are all at different stages, no one is better than you because they have sold 20,000 things or even sold 10 things, they are just further on or behind you, in their own journey. We are all people and we all get 24 hours, some of us have more money, some of us have bigger homes, some of us has hardly any help with our children, some of us, have no children, some of us work 40 hour weeks for the man, some of us work 70 hour weeks for ourselves, the idea here, I am trying to get across is, the only thing that makes us the same is we are human and each get 24 hours a day.

So be inspired, learn a lot, ask questions, research, make lovely things, keep creating and be awesome!

  • Dotty
  • September 23, 2017
  • Art

What I wore my eclectic style

Hello beauties, loads of you don’t see me in day to day life and I am famous around my town for the weirdo in the bloomers ๐Ÿ˜‰ so I thought it would be fun to share with you the kind of things I wear on a day to day basis without going somewhere fancy. I do spend the odd day in my unicorn nightie and rainbow bed socks, when I have no where to be or if I feel like I need a chill day and if you really want a photo of that let me know in the comments ๐Ÿ˜‰


Most of the clothes I wear is either handmade or found in charity shops, people also pass things onto me and sometimes I buy something new if it really makes my heart sing. Pink girl above, I made the skirt, I love how when I twirl around it swishes out and has some old hand dyed net curtains as an underskirt. The vest is from H and M ยฃ4 (new) and the cardi was ยฃ1 from a catalogue seconds outlet in Blackpool town centre, the socks are amazing and are handmade by a lovely lady who I did a swap with online, I got some ace socks and she got a canvas. By the way, I am always up for sock/art swaps so get in touch if this is something you fancy.


My most recent purchase, a Monsoon top from Banardos charity shop for 99p!! I love the shape of it too, the skirt was from Primark and I got a hot pink one and a grey one too becuase they are super comfy and I was tired of feeling frumpy, so I thought I would show off the legs a bit, well with tights at least ๐Ÿ˜‰ these rainbow tights have been an autumn favourite for a few years.


This is my most favourite skirt in the world, I got it from Seasalt 2 years ago in Dartmouth, I love the shape, because its got pockets and it’s great for travelling in, you can roll it up in your bag and the creases just drop out. This stripy slouch top was ยฃ2 in the sale at Primark. It kinda doesn’t match but I was all about the comfort this day.


My friend got in touch and sadi she had a pinafore dress she didn’t suit and did I want it, as soon as she mentioned it had pockets, I said yes! well its super ace and I have worn it so many times already, I might take a pattern from it and make some more before I totally wear it out. I’m wearing it here with handmade bloomers (by me) and a top I have had for years.


Handmade bloomers in Cath Kidston fabric, I might make some more of these for my Etsy shop, paired up with super comfy shoes from Clarkes, I got these in the sale and if you bought one pair you got another half price, so I chose a canary yellow pair. I had the pinafore on with this from the previous picture above.


I got this for 99p from Trinity hospice charity shop, this day was lovely for me because it was chilly enough to wear tights and scarf I and felt almost like autumn, I love autumn, the colours are wonderful and it’s not cold enough for a coat but not too hot that I get sweaty and irritable


The same 99p bargain, the monsoon top which fits me beautifully and feels amazing as in a previous photo. I’ve had the skirt for years, I made it from an Indian wall hanging, it was also chilly enough to wear my brown velvet jacket too.

Comfort is always my first priority when wearing clothes all day, I used to change about 4 times a day when I felt insecure in my past, I thought I had to dress to show off my shape (which was very different then, I was a size 8, but unhealthy becuase I lived on toast and cigarettes) so I chose clinging clothes, with push up underwired bras, fancy pants etc but it wasn’t me, I didn’t know I could choose to wear whatever I wanted just for me, not to impress men or fit in with the girls, I could find my style, live in it and love feeling like me everyday. Sometimes its hard being true to who you are, because you get laughed at or name called, you always get weird looks, but now I’m 41 I have realised its not my problem what others think of me, they have their own issues to deal with, what is important, is being me, being the true authentic me because that makes me truly happy.

Weekly catch up from a colourful seaside artist

My computer desk, this is where I have been all Sunday afternoon, trying to get some kind of business plan together, making digital art, learning about focus, I need that, I am so scatter brained and flit from one thing to another, I meet myself in circles some days! I’m updating my cover headers on fb as I feel they don’t fit me anymore. Constantly changing and growing in life and especially in business is pretty exhausting! I do love social media for the amazing connections and opportunities but I also wonder if we would all be happier without the constant pull of our phones, the pressure to keep up, to be noticed, to have a presence. I’m pondering a lot today. It’s my moontime and I always get deep and thoughtful or totally exhausted


What a beautiful night I had on Friday, me and 3 girlfriends went up to my friends farm retreat and had a sound bath, it was so relaxing I fell asleep towards the end. Then we was blessed with this amazing sunset. On the way home we tried to rescue a lamb that had got out of its field, talked for ages about motherhood, life and our woes and how as women we have so much to deal with and are basically winging it, we look at other women and think they have it all together when really, they are just winging it too. I always try and be positive about situations but things do affect me and even though I may look like I could be one of those women who have it all together, I’m not. Right now I am on herbal tablets for nervousness and tension, I feel a bit lost. My sons are going through the teen stage of not letting me hug them and I feel rejected. My youngest who is autistic is really hard work, his moods change with the wind and it’s exhausting trying to keep happy around him. Working at the hotel is not making my soul sing but until my art sales increase it’s something I must do right now to pay our bills. But I am blessed beyond measure with being alive, my loving partner, our beautiful home and wonderful friends. The experiences I have that bring me so much joy like last night. I wanted to share this because, ladies we are all just doing our best and that is all we can do. Much love to all the mamas, all the carers, the women who work to support their families, the women who have had crappy upbringings, the single ladies, the divorcees, widows, all of you beautiful, amazing ladies who need to know you are truly wonderful and are amazing.



A bit of playing with watercolours on Staurday night and I just finished Sunday morning, it’s always nice to do art for fun and it’s a learning curve using watercolours and ink as it flows much easier than acrylics, it’s all about layering up, acrylics have the depth and texture already. I feel 12 again, painting for the first time.



In my studio catching up with the latest news on social media with a cup of lemon and ginger tea before I start my day. I have been working at a hotel this week to top up our income, so I like to get as much studio time in as possible.



Morning walk on the beach with the dogs and my partner, Tom. We are training the dogs to be off lead one at a time and not runaway to sniff barnacles! So they take it in turns and are doing really well. It’s so warm today and everything was calm and bright. I love time on the beach and am so grateful it’s 10 minutes away from our home. Check out the video.

#TransformationalTuesday Inspiring weight release after trauma

Wow! she is inspiring, what a transformation
I feel overweight at the moment, I am only 5’2 and weigh 11 stone, this week we started a new way of eating, transforming gut health and cutting out refined white flour, pasta etc. I am making sure I do some kind of exercise each day whether thats yoga, walking or dancing whilst making dinner, trying to get my body moving more.
I am not trying to ‘lose’ the weight though because that is living in lack, I am releasing it, as it no longer serves me. #TransformationalTuesday


April fool art sale and March madness

April fool art sale and March madnessnew-april

I am having a crazy 50% off sale for today only over on my Etsy page, I think I have spring fever ๐Ÿ˜‰

Looking back on March to make this photo collage has been wonderful, I had so many outdoor adventures and made loads of art, I also tried new techniques which has inspired a new batch of mixed media canvasses.


I love being on social media and am thankful for sharing friends glimpses into their lives and families.
But everyone remember that social media is a tiny part of our lives, the best bits, the on show bits for the world to see or like an online diary without the most shitty bits included.
We are all just doing our best, we are all just winging it and trying to make the most out of the small amount of time we have in this lifetime. We all have days where we scream and shout, where you want to do nothing more than hide under the duvet, where the housework has been left, where the teens don’t speak to you, your younger children don’t seem to sleep or you feel so lonely you cry.
Just because we see pretty pictures of days out, holidays, nice food, romances, toned bodies, weddings, perfect homes etc that we all share doesn’t mean that everyone apart from you has there shit figured out ๐Ÿ’—
I try and use photos to inspire, I try and see other peoples photos and be inspired, sometimes jealously, resentment, anger or sadness comes up inside, this is a time for reflection, a time to really look at and work on where and why those feelings are happening to you. Just because you are not half way around the world or because your home isn’t how you would like it to be, or you feel there is no romance or love in your life, don’t let it feed the sadness, let it feed the inspiring part, to change and grow, to learn and do.
Life is full of rainbows and thunderstorms ๐ŸŒˆ we have to ride them all and one day there will be more rainbows and sunshine rather than clouds and rain.


Willow weaving

I spent the day at my friends farm in Dolphinholme and we played with willow, willow is amazing for building structures, we used Osier willow to make lanterns and I made an oblix for my ivy to grow up.

There is a local custom in Chediston, Suffolk, known as a ‘willow stripping’ ceremony. This is usually held at the first full moon in May. A Green George figure is dressed in willow strippings, dances around and is then ceremoniously thrown into the local pond.

Osier withies (strong, flexible willow stems) are traditionally used for basket-making and weaving, and are becoming increasingly popular for use as willow screens and sculptures.

Osier, like all willows, is also grown for its ability to absorb heavy metals, and is often planted to ‘clean up’ contaminated waste ground. (thank you Woodland Trust for this info)



We had a lot of fun and used wire to make tealight holders for the bottom of the lanterns, tissue and handmade paper for the sides and used PVA to keep it all in place.


I also saw the first born lamb of the season, only minutes old. Spring is such a wonderful time of year.


Make your own dreamcatcher

I have been in a bit of a boho bliss here, I haven’t had as many orders as January, so have taken some time to concentrate on our home and get around to the creative things I have been wanting to do for some time.

Oh my goddess I am in love! I finished my giant dream catcher from a hula hoop complete with rose lights, beads, vintage lace, ribbon, wool, feathers from one of our past chickens, vintage doilies and vintage mirror beads from an evening jacket collar. It’s take me the best part of a day to make but I couldn’t be happier



ย I’m also making over a cupboard in the dining room that was a fifties cupboard I have had for years and it was looking tired and dull, every time I ate my dinner I looked at it and thought it looked dreary so I put all the other millions of jobs aside and started late last night, it’s evolving and developing into something lovely. I have some gorgeous vintage embroidered ribbon and Pom Pom trim to embellish it when it’s finally finished, still a long way to go yet
Its nice to have chance to do some things just to play, but the guilt of ‘should be’ is always there, in this society we are super conditioned that we should always be doing things to make money, to get higher, to achieve more etc.
Sometimes its good to step back and just be.


Valetines day message

Valentine’s Day:

To all the single parents out there who feel like they are not doing a good enough job, ask yourself this has my child gone to bed tonight fed, warm and content? then you are doing a good job,if your circumstances right now are hindering you in doing this for your child, then seek help or try and come up with a solution to change your circumstances, if you really can’t see a way to feed or keep your child warm, send me a private message, I will help you.

Don’t feel guilty, nobody comes with a parenting manual saying “this is the way to do it”. You are doing your best, that is amazing. You are truly loved even though you’re on your own right now,it is bloody hard sometimes, you are still loved, you are doing the best you can with the knowledge you have right now and that is amazing.

To the people in same-sex relationships that get pissed off because of the way commercial Valentines is portrayed with a man and a woman, just be patient, a little bit longer, the world needs to catch up, you are pioneers of a new generation, instead of getting annoyed by the man, woman thing, how about taking charge and designing your own line of cards for next year, get them sold! There is obviously a gap in the market and they could be a best seller. Go to those restaurants that put the valentines posters up aimed at a man and his woman and explain to them your point of view, they probably have never even thought of it, people need educating we know this. Change takes time and it starts with us.

To all the people who have, had love and are widows,or who are divorced, who now find themselves in a different situation to the one before. Yes it’s hard, today it seems all about happy couples everywhere rubbing it in that you’re on your own now. But do you know what, you have experienced something that a lot of people never experience, you have experienced true love.
Be thankful for that and remember how that felt, it was wonderful and although I know you would love it to be like that right now, one day it could be like that again.

To all the people looking for love and have never found it, yet. Stop looking! that’s it, just stop looking. You are wonderful, you are amazing and there is somebody out there for you. First of all, you need to really love yourself, I know that sounds cliched but there is work to be done. Do that work on yourself, your own personal development and put it out there to the universe the kind of person you would like to meet. The kind of perfect partner, you would love to attract and then let it go, let that shit go, stop letting it consume your whole being because when you do you create a block. When you let it go, that person will come into your life just be open to opportunities.

To the teens who feel fat or ugly, or like you are not normal, for the ones that don’t fit in who feel like they don’t belong. One day darling you’re going to look back at this time and think “oh my God what the fuck was I thinking of” because you’re the ones that are going to be the creatives, the ones who are brilliant ideas people, the ones that have overcome adversity and will go on to do amazing things.
You have compassion, you are full of Love for others and the planet, it’s time some of that love went towards yourself too. Today I want you to do something radical!! I want you to go and look in the mirror and instead of seeing the empty shell of somebody who feels downtrodden and alone, I want you to look at yourself and say I am going to be somebody, I am, I am beautiful, even if you don’t believe it this moment, right now, you are! I’m telling you! you are beautiful.

Beauty doesn’t have to be the outward appearance, the tall, long gorgeous flowing hair magazine type, you are the perfect already.
Inside beauty comes in all sorts of ways, beauty comes from a deep understanding of the world, it comes from a passion for music, it comes from the way you write, it comes from all sorts of things darling.You are full of those things, please believe me. All the things that bother you now, like the freckles, the hair colour, spots, too thin, too fat, too tall, too small etc, those things won’t matter to you as you grow, it just feels painful now because of all the changes and the transfer from child to adult, it’s a mixed up crazy time, just see it as a ride, a rollercoaster to be ridden and the end is coming.

To all the people in relationships that suck right now, if there is abuse involved, its time to leave, if you are going through a bad patch, talk things through. You both know though, when you are flogging a dead horse, why stay together making each other miserable? why not part (as hard as that may seem) and let each other find true love or happiness with someone else?

To all people who don’t feel there are enough or they are not enough to be loved or they are not enough to do wonderful things. You are always enough!! you are alive, you are breathing, you have a body, you are a miracle, did you know that there is 1 in 144,000,000,000,000,000,000 chance of your dads sperm fertilising your mums egg, and then a 1 in 3 chance of you being born alive? Think about that or a second! You are a miracle.

Just how amazing is it, that you are meant to be, you are here to be happy, to live your fullest life, this all starts with you. This starts with inside of you feeling you are enough. Forget all those people have told you throughout your life are stupid, or who think you’re not good enough, do you know what, fuck them! fuck them all, because everybody is enough! Everybody is wonderful and a miracle and I just wish I had a magic wand so everybody could see just how truly amazing they are

On Valentine’s Day we are shown really happy faces about love, it has turned very commercial, buy this, do this, buy cards. Or if you don’t get a card, you not good enough. If you don’t send a card you are not good enough. I used to hate it, I used to really hate Valentines for the commercial aspect, but this year lets embrace the love side of it. If a lot of people can wake up to the love and yes it’s only for one day, if we can wake up to love today, that’s a wonderful thing.

But what we need is to wake up to love every day, it all starts with us, it all starts inside, from now on let’s try every day to love ourselves a little bit more and to love those around us that means something to you, whether that’s our family or friends or just a lovely person that you talk to the greengrocers every day because you got nobody else to talk to you. (I’ve been there) but let’s start with that.

Let’s radiate that, let’s do little kind things for each other, even for people we don’t know. Let’s just radiate love to all, instead of Valentine’s Day, it could be ‘Radiate love day’ and that’s much nicer, just remember you are loved even when you feel like there’s nobody there, even when you feel like there’s nothing you can do, even when you feel at the depths of despair, like ending it all (I’ve been there too). Please don’t, please just know there is somebody that loves you, even if you haven’t met that person yet, it’s aligned in the stars.

Just hold on darling, just hold on for one more day, that’s all you can do and then the next day, hold on for another day and then the next day, hold on for another day and if you can’t manage today, hold on for one hour, change something, get dressed today. Go to the library. Pick a book and sit there in the library, so you’re actually in the company of others, you don’t have to talk to anybody but you’re actually outside doing something, pick up a book and start reading that book, get involved in a different story within the pages and let your imagination take over a while, go for a walk in nature, if there is no nature near by, you could jump on a bus and go to a park, just do something for yourself today to make yourself feel that love. If you can’t do any of those things and you can’t leave the house, run yourself a bath, if you feel disabled and you can’t get in the bath, get a bowl of nice warm water, get some bubbles in it or some herbs and salt and just pop your feet in it, you deserve that, you deserve that today, you deserve that every day. There are always small things you can do to make yourself feel better and to make yourself feel good.

Just know I LOVE YOU! just know you are needed and wanted and loved. Happy Valentine’s Day from me to you.

To all people who don’t feel there are enough or they are not enough to be loved or they are not enough to do wonderful things. You are always enough!! you are alive, you are breathing, you have a body, you are a miracle, did you know that there is 1 in 144,000,000,000,000,000,000 chance of your dads sperm fertilizing your mums egg, and then a 1 in 3 chance of you being born alive? Think about that or a second! You are a miracle.